MoN
11-20-2009, 02:30 PM
I thought it would be fun to add a thread with some good jokes/personal stories/articles/etc.... to keep us laughing....This one was sent to my email from a friend pretty funny....
> >A cowboy named
> > Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote
> > mountainous pasture
> > in California when
> > suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud
> > of dust. The driver, a
> > young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan
> > sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked
> > the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows
> > and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a
> > calf?"
> > Bud looks
> > at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
> > peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure,
> > Why not?"
> > The yuppie
> > parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
> > connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and
> > surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up
> > a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location
> > which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans
> > the
> > area in an
> > ultra-high-resolution photo.
> > The young man
> > then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
> > exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg ,
> > Germany .
> >
> > Within seconds,
> > he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
> > has been processed and the data stored. He then
> > accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected
> > Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and,
> > after a few minutes, receives a
> > response. Finally, he
> > prints out a full-color, 150-page report on
> > his hi-tech, miniaturized
> > HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says,
> > "You have exactly 1,586 cows and
> > calves."
> >
> > "That's right.
> > Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says
> > Bud.
> > He watches the
> > young man select one of the animals and looks on
> > with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the
> > trunk of his
> > car.
> >
> > Then
> > Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
> > exactly what your business is, will you give me back my
> > animal?"
> > The young man
> > thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
> > not?"
> > "You're a
> > Congressman for the U.S. Government", says
> > Bud.
> > "Wow! That's
> > correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess
> > that?"
> > "No guessing
> > required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up
> > here even though nobody called you; you want to get
> > paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I
> > never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of
> > equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you
> > are; and
> > you don't know a
> > thing about how working people making a living - or
> > about cows, for that matter.....This is a herd of sheep.
> > .
> > Now give me
> > back my
> > dog!"
> >A cowboy named
> > Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote
> > mountainous pasture
> > in California when
> > suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud
> > of dust. The driver, a
> > young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan
> > sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked
> > the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows
> > and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a
> > calf?"
> > Bud looks
> > at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
> > peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure,
> > Why not?"
> > The yuppie
> > parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
> > connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and
> > surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up
> > a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location
> > which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans
> > the
> > area in an
> > ultra-high-resolution photo.
> > The young man
> > then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
> > exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg ,
> > Germany .
> >
> > Within seconds,
> > he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
> > has been processed and the data stored. He then
> > accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected
> > Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and,
> > after a few minutes, receives a
> > response. Finally, he
> > prints out a full-color, 150-page report on
> > his hi-tech, miniaturized
> > HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says,
> > "You have exactly 1,586 cows and
> > calves."
> >
> > "That's right.
> > Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says
> > Bud.
> > He watches the
> > young man select one of the animals and looks on
> > with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the
> > trunk of his
> > car.
> >
> > Then
> > Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
> > exactly what your business is, will you give me back my
> > animal?"
> > The young man
> > thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
> > not?"
> > "You're a
> > Congressman for the U.S. Government", says
> > Bud.
> > "Wow! That's
> > correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess
> > that?"
> > "No guessing
> > required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up
> > here even though nobody called you; you want to get
> > paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I
> > never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of
> > equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you
> > are; and
> > you don't know a
> > thing about how working people making a living - or
> > about cows, for that matter.....This is a herd of sheep.
> > .
> > Now give me
> > back my
> > dog!"