your boyfriend and other girls...

[xmmm.cupcakes]

so please tell me, does or would anyone get mad or upset or anything if your boyfriend suddenly has an interest to make his facebook account like myspace, you know that as many friends as i can get competition?
one thing in particular is that its other "subaru people" mainly women in fact. and somehow this is not supposed to bother me... and everytime i say something like "who is she?" he looks at me and goes "well isnt she one of the subiegirls?" HA!!!!!

i dont think anything is going on, but i am a super over analytical person so i want to know WHY on everything and for some reason he cant give me an answer other than I DUNNO

so i just want to know if its just me or if its a little aggrivating.

[MoN]

Ed doesnt have a facebook, and he stopped going on his myspace yrs ago, so I cant say I have this problem. I will say that I wouldnt take it bad. The point of those sites is to social network, to gain more friends and what not. So if he cant add people (even girls) then whats the point of having one. He probably feels that since you are a member and are gaining firiendships with subiegirls that you would feel more comfortable with him accepting friendships with the same girls you are. Unless you have a legit reason to believe he's internet flriting, then I'd say let it go, its not a big deal. I mean I accept friends on facebook from a lot of random subaru guys, its not like we flirt or are trying to holla, its more like hey you drive a subie? Me too! If you hear of any events let me know, or if you have any questions let me know type of thing, and ed knows so its cool...

[subiemommy]

Eric never uses his FB, not even sure why he has it! Same with his MS, never used that either.

I'm sure if he had one and it had a bunch of women I didn't know I would be worried. I had an ex that never lost touch with any girl he had even met (or slept with which I later found out was in the houndreds, icky!) so he had tons of female freinds and refused to stop talking to them. After we broke up (after I found out his numbers!) I found out he was still seeing, and possibly sleeping, with most of them! Because of that I do not trust guys that feel the need to have a bunch of female friends. Though I know not all are like my ass ex, what did I expect he was into muscle cars! haha
Eric I know has like 5-6 female friends, I'm ok with that. But if he started to add people just to add them it would bug me. I also think people that have more friends in cyberspace, specificly on FB/MS, than IRL are a little needy. My Mother for example has over 800 "friends" she doesn't know any of them! She might know 50 and they are family, most of which she has only met a few times or never met, but they are her Mom's, Brother's, Dughter's, Husband's, Cousin, so why not?! haha
I try to add people I talk to on other sites, here and my Mommy board (most of them feel like family we have talked so long!) for example and not people he talks to on his sites. I don't like just random people. And if after adding them they don't seem to fit what I want on FB I have no problem hitting the delte button! haha

You know your man, if you trust him then don't worry about it. If he is adding subiegirls and not just random girls with sexy avatars then I wouldn't worry too much. If Eric was adding ya'll I would ask why and hope he had an answer. But chances are he just wants to have the same friends. I know IRL I like to know Eric's friends and I like him to know mine. Maybe he's doing the same thing online.

[Bugichic]

That sucks, im sorry hun =(

[Superwomanchick]

I get the same way, I don't mean to and I try not to but it always makes me feel uncomfortable and I always have to say something, but it's usually txting although on fb he has more girl friends than guys from highschool . . . which was like 7 years ago. But my biggest pet peeve is when I come over and he's on his phone, I can't help but ask who he's talking to and then I get the "don't worry about it" or something along those lines. I think in my case i'd feel better if he'd just tell me, I don't care if he has girls that are friends just as long as he's honest. When people try to run around the subject that's when you start to think that something's going on.

[buniboo]

I get the same way. I have been burned too many times by ex's when it comes to the internet. One thing that really impresses me with my boyfriend is that when I ask him who this girl is that he is talking to he can give me a valid response. He never keeps anything from me.

[Bugichic]

Hiding shit is the worst. And they cant pull the "then you dont trust me" bs because you have valid reasons and you are just asking who and why you have the girls on there. Its not as if you are accusing him and if he gets very defensive then there usually is a reason. Follow your instincts bc they have always led me in the right direction

[jenjdm]

ugh im unfortunetly like that with my bf as well.. not subiegirls, but girls in general.. i see it as if you dont know them from somewhere (school,forums,hobbies,etc) why add them or accept them? My ex ruined my head and its really hard for me to trust any boy i date.. and once they lie to me or hide stuff i go nuts and its hard for me to trust them again.

With my current bf, we're having that problem almost everyday.. ill ask "why did you add her" or "who is that" and i need a reasonable answer or i'm suspicious, cause i know his history of talking to girls online and im not thrilled. So i made sure any ex's or girls he had history with are deleted off his Facebook, and any new girls on there i want to know how he knows her, etc. haha. >.< I wish i wasnt like this.. :(

[kristinachelsea]

I'm 50/50 on this. I've been on both sides. I've been the girl who is suspicious of the guy, but I've also had the guy be suspicious of me. When I first started getting into subarus, I was with a guy that thought cars were really just a waste of time and money. So when I started going to meets, he was far from pleased and wouldn't come with me. And when I started added the people I had met at these meets, the shit hit the fan even though I had a valid reason for adding these people. And I know how horrible it felt having him not trust me.

[gizzmo]

as a male I'd say don't worry too deeply about it. I have MANY female friends and one of my best friends on earth is a subie owner sho autocrosses and is gorgeous so I've had to go through the "there's nothing there, we've been friends half our lives, etc." stuff from time to time with my gf. I'm a flirty person by nature so I also flirt without realizing I'm doing it or say stuff that I wouldn't consider flirting but she does so I get accused of it. I had an engagement broken off and one of the reasons was myspace antics. Her BFF had the password to the fiances acct and went in during a rough spot we were having and took down any pics of her and I and put up a pic of the fiance and the bff's male friend who had added the caption "my first catch of the night". The fiance and I were having issues at the time but were still engaged. That absolutely crushed me to the point that I didn't go to work for 3 days. I understand how easily it can turn from nothing into something huge. Just police it and don't make it an issue if it's not.

[jessickascarling]

I agree with pretty much everything that's being said... if I want to know who Dan has on his FB, I ask him. And he tells me, plain and simple. If he doesn't feel comfortable with someone I have on my list or vice versa, it's as easy as "Can you remove this person?" "Ok." We have complete 100% trust in eachother and because of that, I don't have to really worry about who's on his FB.

[xmmm.cupcakes]

I agree with pretty much everything that's being said... if I want to know who Dan has on his FB, I ask him. And he tells me, plain and simple. If he doesn't feel comfortable with someone I have on my list or vice versa, it's as easy as "Can you remove this person?" "Ok." We have complete 100% trust in eachother and because of that, I don't have to really worry about who's on his FB.

see i just get a little too upset. i cant just look at him and say "remove them please" cause then i get the sarcastic WHY??? and then i flip :rolleyes:
character flaw i guess, irish temper

[xmmm.cupcakes]

see ladies, (and dude...sorry), im not jealous or being psychotic. i feel that facebook is to be more integrated into peoples lives. i have a few of you on there so if i see you or something, its good for conversation (many other reasons too) like you have your family on so you can see how their doing, when the next reunion is, why grampa went to the hospital. your yo9unger siblings to get them in trouble with mom and dad, its for caring and giving a shite about them as a whole and not just their interest in subies.

no he is not an ass or anything but hes not the one to say hey, pack up your family of eight and come have lunch at my place. and thats fine, cause the minute i thought that he cared about what these girls' marriages and children, id be a lil freaked. my only issue is that he cares about the subie enthusiast inside everyone, so why does he need to know that this girl took her kid to soccer practice yesterday, ran into an ice cream truck and had cats chasing her in the middle of central park in NY,NY? NO Need!

[Voltron]

What about over the top controlling gfs?

[MoN]

We have complete 100% trust in eachother and because of that, I don't have to really worry about who's on his FB.

^This. How it should be in every relationship. And if there's none of this, theres a problem. Regardless of what yo ex has done to you in the past or what not, you should always start off a relationship w/ trust and respect. If trust has been broken down the line, then come to an understanding of whats expected from both sides and continue moving forward. Dwelling on the past is what turns many women into over controling gf's like stated above, and thats what turns guys off and into looking for an alternative way out. When they understand whats expected and where the line is drawn its easier for them to follow that, well for most good men it is.... If he chooses to cross those lines thats when its time to move on to the next man who will treat us w/ the respect that most of us deserve.

[bannerd]

I don't have a g/f so I'm not worried about it, but I would police it because it takes only a few months to sweep him or her off her feet and sometimes people are just dumb. I don't know how many times I've seen things rise like this and fall, next thing you know they want you back and girls always take the man back. Build trust, if he can't tell you then I say eff him and find someone that cares. It's the same as if he started doing drugs or if he killed someone and doesn't want to tell you... wtf? You two are suppose to be like this "fingers"

:cool:

[Brumble]

as a male I'd say don't worry too deeply about it. I have MANY female friends and one of my best friends on earth is a subie owner sho autocrosses and is gorgeous so I've had to go through the "there's nothing there, we've been friends half our lives, etc." stuff from time to time with my gf. I'm a flirty person by nature so I also flirt without realizing I'm doing it or say stuff that I wouldn't consider flirting but she does so I get accused of it. I had an engagement broken off and one of the reasons was myspace antics. Her BFF had the password to the fiances acct and went in during a rough spot we were having and took down any pics of her and I and put up a pic of the fiance and the bff's male friend who had added the caption "my first catch of the night". The fiance and I were having issues at the time but were still engaged. That absolutely crushed me to the point that I didn't go to work for 3 days. I understand how easily it can turn from nothing into something huge. Just police it and don't make it an issue if it's not.

I'd say about 50% of the girls on my facebook account i dont know. but just like good old gizzmo here, my bestest friend is a very attractive female, who also is a model, and a professional dancer(think cheerleader, not stripper), and is as outgoing, flirtatious, and perverted as me. I will not remove her from my life because of someone else's insecurity.

It may seem selfish, but I am not a jealous person, AT ALL! and i will only continue to date someone if they can prove to lack jealousy just like me. I will never question a girlfriend's connection to a guy. I might ask who someone is, but i wont accuse or assume anything. if I catch them cheating then it's just over. I'm not gonna fuck around with working things out. if she's cheating on me then obviously he's giving her something i cant, then in that case, "pack your shit, don't forget your toothbrush, give me back my movies, and good luck, hope your new fella can give you what i couldnt." but until then, 'cool, you have a guy friend, does he like video games, drinking, or cars?'

[Superwomanchick]

So the bf and I broke up today, and I know part of it is because of how I have a guy friend. Even though he had a ton of girl friends and he would call them babe and luv, pretty much all the nicknames he called me. Anyways, today we got into an argument because he said he would help me roll my fenders and he completely bailed. Told me I ask for too much help and don't appreciate it. Funny because I never got a thank you for the vinyl wrap I bought but he used for his roof. No more subaru guys for me. That's two that have broken my heart.

[Lperkins88]

^^ i'm sorry to hear that =(

[xxthat girlxx]

1) I'm guessing most of the guys you are dating are young. 2) That makes them dumb.

I will NEVER be in a jealous/controlling relationship. Communication is important to a successful relationship and it takes work to have a good relationship.

I'd be upset at anyone friend, boyfriend, brother, aunt, sister for bailing on me when we had plans to do something.

As for the not appreciating it, before you get all frazzled, take an honest look at yourself, what you do, what you say from the outside based on what he said and see if there was something you may have done/said that could could have been taken as unappreciative. It's never to late to make positive changes in your life. (I'm not saying he's right, I'm just saying most of us don't take the time to really see ourselves from the eyes of others).

/soapbox - old lady wisdom

edit: I've sworn of Subaru guys quite a few times and I always think that next one is different... deep down I hope to find me the perfect car guy...

/hopeless romantic

[- Rach -]

Moral of the story... Men suck. LOL. (Sorry)

Many of my guy friends nicknamed me "Man-hater"... mainly for the fact that I have no patience for BS. I have a severe allergy to it. lol... 3 Strikes, and they're done. If my gut instinct says, liar, untrustworthy... etc. then I go with it, and don't continue to waste my time dealing with poop.

Trust is always a hard thing to be reasonable with in relationships, and it's all on an individual basis. It's all on how much you are willing to put up with before it's beyond reasonable.

[Superwomanchick]

The thing that makes me upset is I really always make it a point to thanks someone when they help me with stuff. I hate asking for help to begin with ya know. And he was actually 25, but I don't know why but I always seem to fall for the really bad guys. The ones that have a tendency to blame everything on you. I just kinda flipped today. How can he get mad at me when he's the one bailing? It doesn't make any sense. The thing that makes me sick is that he's honestly become my best friend in this past year and a half. It feels so horrible to think that i'm not going to have that anymore. Even though I know it's for the best and yeah there are other guys out there, at this point I know i'm still in love with him and it's really hard to think I can feel that way for someone else. Ugh today was just not a good day. It turned from being excited about new wheels to feeling miserable and having to go in to work. /self pity.

[CamaroWRX]

So the bf and I broke up today, and I know part of it is because of how I have a guy friend.
A guy friend? As in singular?

Jeez. You're better off without him. Seriously.

My current boyfriend, I've been with.... well, a long time. And after the last one had "issues" with my male friends (especially my codrivers in autocross), I explicitly laid out the ground rules from day one : if you have a problem with me being friends with other guys, including talking to them, codriving with them, rooming with them, texting/IMing them, etc., then don't even bother. Most of my friends are guys after I got screwed over by my "best friend" (it was completely Jerry Springer-esque), and I actually have a hard time trusting other women, versus trusting a guy.

As for Facebook or Myspace, or whatever.... if you have a problem with them "friending" someone on there... wow. There are some people who will friend anyone who sends them an invite. On the converse, there are some people who will obviously send an friend request to anyone who FB suggests as a friend. I don't take any of those things seriously. I have literally a tick shy of 800 "friends" on Facebook. I personally know 90-95% of them (autocrossers, former students, etc.), but are they "friends"? Eh. I probably interact regularly with not even 10% of my friends list. Same with my boyfriend, and his friends list is significantly smaller than mine. If you're concerned about online stuff -- whether it's who he is "friends" with or how much time he's spending online -- then something isn't right.

[xxthat girlxx]

Natalie - take Karen's advice. When you are into cars you HAVE to set ground rules. You also need to meet someone who is confident and trusts you.

[Superwomanchick]

I think I made a mistake when I told him I didn't like how he hung out with a ton of girls that he hasn't introduced me to yet. Because after that maybe I seemed like I was being hypocritical, even though literally in months I only hung out with one guy friend and he had already met him. If I pointed out how he shouldn't be mad about that, he'd tell me I can't get mad when he hangs out with girls. Which I never really did except when he went on a day trip to monterey with this girl who's bf had just broken up with her because she had to go with him. It was just plain weird. The only other time I was a little suspicious was when a coworker of mine told me he saw him at a bar with another guy and two girls and it looked like a double date because he didn't say hi to my coworker at all. Ugh the whole situation was just a mess. I really do always fall for the wrong guys.

[britt.britt]

My boyfriend isnt like that on facebook. Hes never really on facebook. But he is like that on car forums. A friend of ours was in an argument with someone so he joined the forum to bitch him out. Now when i get chewed out by some guy on a iwsti he makes a sad face at me.

[xxthat girlxx]

I think I made a mistake when I told him I didn't like how he hung out with a ton of girls that he hasn't introduced me to yet. Because after that maybe I seemed like I was being hypocritical, even though literally in months I only hung out with one guy friend and he had already met him. If I pointed out how he shouldn't be mad about that, he'd tell me I can't get mad when he hangs out with girls. Which I never really did except when he went on a day trip to monterey with this girl who's bf had just broken up with her because she had to go with him. It was just plain weird. The only other time I was a little suspicious was when a coworker of mine told me he saw him at a bar with another guy and two girls and it looked like a double date because he didn't say hi to my coworker at all. Ugh the whole situation was just a mess. I really do always fall for the wrong guys.

There's a difference between knowing he has female friends and meeting them etc. and being possible sketch about female friends. It's a fine line but why wouldn't he want these friends to meet you?

[TrunkMonkey24]

There's a difference between knowing he has female friends and meeting them etc. and being possible sketch about female friends. It's a fine line but why wouldn't he want these friends to meet you?

i'm a little late into this convo to begin with, but i fully agree with the general consensus here. (i'm a guy btw lol). It's important to lay out the rules right off the bat. I have some female friends, one of whom i'm about to move in with. She's one of my closest friends and is dating one of my best friends. Bottom line is, any girl i meet that i'm interested in, I tell them right up front, i have female friends, some of whom i'm very close with. But don't ever confuse me talking/joking/hanging out with them for being unfaithful. I'd never go behind ur back about what i'm doin, and i want you to meet and get to know them b/c they are a huge part of my life and for us to work, you need to know them as well. Way too many ppl are overbearing when it comes to opp sex friends. as long as they arent actin shady or lyin about stuff, theres usually not any concern.
It is a bit shady if a guy or girl doesnt want you meeting or knowing their opp sex friends though...perhaps something to keep a [distant] eye on.
And don't swear off car guys...its clear thats a near and dear hobby for you and finding someone with the same interests and passions can be very challenging, but when you find the right guy/girl, that's just one more way to fully enjoy them!

[Woody '04]

sorry to hear about your breakup. :(

maybe try actually writing down what you really want most in a relationship? what are the "must haves" and don't date someone that doesn't meet the minimums (shouldn't be too long a list). there is healthy level of "pickiness".

unfortunately relationships just take a lot of time. about the time you really get to know a person is when the chemical nature of a newer relationship starts to wear off and things get more difficult as the friction points come to the forefront.


(i'm a guy). i often like talking to women better and my partner often likes talking to guys better. she does the online social networking and i don't. we still have some work to do for better harmony and trust even after many years together. at various points we have each been soooooo ready to hang it up for various reasons.

i've always felt it important to maintain a level of trust. for me, a lack of trust equates to worry and i just can't go there on more than a temporary basis. in the long term, no trust = no relationship. everyone has their own "breaking point". if you feel you have to keep something a secret from your partner then you are either doing something wrong, or there is an issue that needs dealing with and working through (maybe changes for both). i believe there really is something to the "gut feel" thing with trust.


the best relationships:
- are between 2 people who often have at least 1 habit that really annoys the other and are able to let it go somehow.
- each person probably feels like they are putting 80% (or more) of the total effort into the relationship, but does so willingly.
- each person respects each others' thoughts and feelings and willingly changes behavior for partner even if it doesn't make sense to them.
- each person figures out what the other really appreciates most and tries to do more of it. often they are quite different for each person and don't come naturally.
- don't build walls or keep score of wrongs - good at apologies

so simple, yet so hard.

better luck next time around. :)

[TrunkMonkey24]

+1+1+1+1+1 to all of Woody's post. this is exactly true. Don't give up :) and remember, my philosophy is no1 find the right person without going through a couple wrong ones!

[Woody '04]

I think I made a mistake when I told him I didn't like how he hung out with a ton of girls that he hasn't introduced me to yet. Because after that maybe I seemed like I was being hypocritical, even though literally in months I only hung out with one guy friend and he had already met him. If I pointed out how he shouldn't be mad about that, he'd tell me I can't get mad when he hangs out with girls. Which I never really did except when he went on a day trip to monterey with this girl who's bf had just broken up with her because she had to go with him. It was just plain weird. The only other time I was a little suspicious was when a coworker of mine told me he saw him at a bar with another guy and two girls and it looked like a double date because he didn't say hi to my coworker at all. Ugh the whole situation was just a mess. I really do always fall for the wrong guys.

I had a few more thoughts. I'm not an expert but have had my share of troubles as they say.


It sounds like your ex has some serious issue(s) if he really expects you to limit your opposite-sex friendships while he carries on unabated. For many people in a committed relationship, a good line to draw is not be alone with an opposite-sex person, or at least disclose fully and limit as much as possible. He kinda sounds like a player to some extent. Or at least content to string you along for awhile without concern for your feelings.


BUT you also said he was really a good friend and you would miss that, so it seems he did have a number of qualities you liked? If he wasn't a total ass at the breakup, you could consider contacting him again to talk things over. This requires opening yourself up to the possibility of more hurt and pain. Consider starting out emphasizing the positive things of your relationship you will miss and want to understand more about things from his perspective. You have to be intent on listening and not arguing, which can be very difficult.
The thing that makes me upset is I really always make it a point to thanks someone when they help me with stuff. I hate asking for help to begin with ya know. And he was actually 25, but I don't know why but I always seem to fall for the really bad guys. The ones that have a tendency to blame everything on you. I just kinda flipped today. How can he get mad at me when he's the one bailing? It doesn't make any sense. The thing that makes me sick is that he's honestly become my best friend in this past year and a half. It feels so horrible to think that i'm not going to have that anymore. Even though I know it's for the best and yeah there are other guys out there, at this point I know i'm still in love with him and it's really hard to think I can feel that way for someone else. Ugh today was just not a good day. It turned from being excited about new wheels to feeling miserable and having to go in to work. /self pity.

Worst case, he is a total dirtbag and further contact will be quite painful. His condition would be confirmed beyond the shadow of doubt.

Moderate case, all hope is still lost but you may learn more how he perceived things differently that you didn't really intend. If he wasn't a total weirdo or jackass (but somewhat "average guy") you may get some honest feedback and material to consider before trying again.

Best case, you both may find you really had good intentions but it all just came across wrong and there is some hope with changes, work, and effort.


Good luck, and best wishes either way.

[bigbobchamp]

The other night I walked into a bar and my girlfriend was talking to some dude she didn't know. I stopped and told a friend that was with me, let's keep our distance. The more guys that try to pick her up, the better she'll probably feel about herself, and the better sex we'll have later.

15 minutes later she sees me talking to a girl and had a jealous freakout that lead to crazy drama and humiliation. I had done a photoshoot w/ said girl just a few weeks ago, and my gf even helped me sort the photos (she just didn't recognize the person). Jealousy is gay.

Find someone that's more mature than you and understands / lives by the phrase "objective thinking". And if they're over 25 and haven't figured that out yet, they likely won't, so older doesn't necessarily mean better (although odds are higher). That's a fact.

[gizzmo]

I've found myself having to restate the "ground rules" a lil too much lately. I went into the current relationship telling her that I am an extremely busy guy. Between the work, SCCA, and the Impreza Club I don't have much free time and I dj at clubs and raves as well somewhere in there. She was "ok with that" but now it's not good enough. Every female I talk to has to have an explanation if we're out and she sees me talking to them. I thought I was doing awesome because she understands what drives me, she's down to hang out in the woods in the snow in the middle of no-where michigan all weekend for a Rally, she's ok with me throwing money at the wrx like I'm Donald Trump, she has fun at club meets and auto-xs. Lately she's been more needy in the attention dept and it's got me feeling kinda bad sometimes even though I had warned about this exact situation. Every relationship will have ups and downs. The trick is to keep the ups far enough up that they outweigh the downs. I'm hoping to find a proper subie-girl for this subie-guy someday . . .

I realize this is a bit of a ramble but it's what was on my mind :lol:

[xxthat girlxx]

Bob, crazy story Im glad it's sorted out.

Gizzmo, I dated a subaru guy who lived 1hr 20min from me. I drove to his place every weekend when I got out of work Friday at 7-8pm. And I drove to Monday mornings to be at work for 7:30-8:30am. I spent every weekend under someones car. Usually multiple cars depending on what the work was. I stayed up until wee hours of Friday and Saturday mornings to get up after a few hours of sleep to get at work again. Sometimes there were bar nights or a party thrown in. I cooked. I cleaned tools/the garage and I knew the inside of his toolbox (it was a pretty big rolling one) like the back of my hand. After about 4 months of that I finally had to say when am I going to get to date you and not the entire club and their cars. I also told him I couldn't work on cars everyday and needed a bit more dynamic to our relationship. He was not happy. There were multiple reasons we would have never worked out, but long story short, if you wanted to be with her/settle down you'd make time. Even if it's date night once a week or twice a month.

[gizzmo]

That's my concern Sarah. I'm content with my life as it is. She's not. I tend to just cut loose if I feel overwhelmed and it's getting there. I try to incluse her as much as possible and genuinely attempt to not just make it "her along for the ride" as much as possible. Find stuff for us to do in the little towns around and on the way to rallies that doesn't involve racing. The first one we went to together I scheduled as a weeks vacation that ended with LSPR. I also thought I was more ready to settle down than it appears I am, I'm not ready to be the responsible step parent at this point in life (6 yr old daughter for her) It's starting to feel like I'm still with her only to not hurt her, I just don't know how much more I can do . . .

for the record, I definitely love her, she's very important in my life, just as it has been thus far. Not ready to be hubby/daddy yet.

[xxthat girlxx]

Yeah, you should work on that decision sooner rather than later. And good luck!

[Big-E]

If it's not your cellphone, then don't pick it up and scroll through the incoming or outgoing calls list.

If it's not your email account, don't access it.

If it's not your Facebook account, don't access it.

If your S/O has a Facebook account and it's open to the public, then beware if you choose to look at it when you're online and using your account. If you do, make zero assumptions. Period.

Don't assume because...

If you're secure with yourself, then you have nothing to worry about.

If you're secure with yourself, you wouldn't be snooping around scrolling through your S/O's cellphone, email or Facebook accounts. In all honesty, who gives a crap?!

If you do, then you are someone that is truly insecure and will jump to conclusions before having any facts-in-hand.

If your S/O is not secure with themselves, you probably won't be able to change that and should decide whether or not to move on.

Don't get married because "it's the thing to do". What the F?!, are you nuts?!

Don't have a baby because if you think that will strengthen your relationship, you are dead wrong. A baby is an eating, screaming, pooping machine that requires your attention 24/7. You eat when the baby eats. You sleep when the baby sleeps.

If you have a baby (girls) and your boyfriend is a dick, he won't stay around. The most unfortunate truth is that guys don't have babies. They can't and won't so don't try to drive anything into their heads about this. The guys that do understand however, won't need to be spoken to about this. You'll have that feeling inside that they do know. But that moment you decide to "tell" them, you're rolling down the slope of insecurity and probably will sour the relationship with him. Don't insult my intelligence. I do have a clue and I want to be with you. [So don't mess this up.]

Remember, talk is cheap so don't worry about it. It's just talk, not sex. But only if it doesn't cross that line. If it turns into verbal intercourse, then that's a different story.

If your girlfriend (boyfriend for you girls) is cheating on you and you really have that unfettered feeling that she/he is, then you're probably right.

Love is nice, but doesn't bring money to your pocket or put food onto the table. Hard and smart work does. A relationship is a partnership. Kid yourself on this one and you're a fool. Wake up!

Have I been burned before? Hell yes!

"You were flirting with her!". "No, I was talking to her and you were in the same room and heard everything I said." "You were flirting with her!" Give me a fucking break.