roommate troubles

[Superwomanchick]

So tonight I almost got into a fist fight with Sarah* (name changed). She is not on the lease because she was planning on moving back to LA where she is from. Well she decided to stay. There goes my hopes and dreams of getting another roomie. Anyways, she's on the softball team and is always talking about that, which doesn't bother me except when I open my mouth about cars she's gotta act like it isn't important.

We've got into arguments before over food because she eats all the junkfood I buy but only gives my other roommate grocery money. Very rarely does she ever go shopping. Whenever I try to ask her or tell her something, like replacing the frozen pizzas she ate, or like in this case, why my face towel was on the window above the shower it's WWIII. She starts shouting why I ask f'ng dumb questions, do I honestly think she would do that, i'm spoiled, I don't clean the bathroom, while she's going to school and playing a sport, etc.

I stopped wiping down the counter because she kept leaving her freakn water spots. I work part time and go to school full time, my mom helps me out but hey in this economy barely anyone can fully support themselves. Oh btw did I mention she has a loan, so technically it isn't her money she's using anyway.

She's constantly bragging about how her mom lives in diamond bar but then says how she has to help her out. Her family is just living there so they can say they are. And boy does she work it, every chance she gets she tells people that she's from there like she hates being here. If you hate it so much why the hell are you living here?

Oh and the best part, she always complains about how people call her ghetto and how her coach picks on her. If you listen to this girl talk you wouldn't blame them. She has to get all up in peoples faces (including mine) and tell them off.

So as she's in my face screaming at me (still over the towel issue because she couldn't just answer my question) I asked her why she wonders why people think she's ghetto. Oh but I live in Turlock so I must be way more ghetto than she is. Ha, this is where I might've over stretched the boundaries a little. I told her my family has more money than hers ever will. I admit it is a low blow and sounds extremely shallow. But hey, it shut her up.

Man I don't know what i'm going to do, I can't stand living with her. Just her very presence in the house annoys the crap out of me. It's like a fly buzzing in your ear 24/7. I really am contemplating moving back in with my parents. If I don't I think we might get

[MsLovely]

So it cut off your post, but I seriously think you need to kick her out. I mean if you can find someone else who will move in and sign the lease kick her out. If she's not on the lease you have every right to kick her out. How does your other roommate feel about her? If you back her up will you other roommate support you? I was in a shitty roommate situation about a year ago. I ended up moving out despite having my name on the lease. It was a huge mess.

[Superwomanchick]

Idk if they'll back me up, one of them is friends with her. I just can't see how she doesn't get on their nerves too. She doesn't do anything, we don't even have fabric softener because I bought it the first time, my other roommate bought it the second time, and she hasn't gotten any. She's just so inconsiderate. I could barely sleep because she had friends over and I heard her talking shit about me. Every night I hear her phone conversations because she talks so loud and she had the nerve to complain about my phone vibrating too loud. Oh and she leaves her straightener plugged in 24/7 and yet when I take a 5 min shower she shuts off the tv to "save energy". I think i'm going to have to move out. I literally can't stand living with her. I just hate it because I like my other roommates and everything's fine with just them.

[MsLovely]

Well I hope you can figure everything out.

[xxthat girlxx]

I think that you should sit down and talk with her before you just move home. Ask the other room mate(s) to be there with you as a neutral party for safety. Think and prepare about what you want to say so you are CALM.

I took a interpersonal communications class in college and we learned about "i-feelings." Instead saying "you upset me when" and placing blame on the other person, you have to own your feelings and say "I am upset about," "I am upset when," you get the idea.

You should be able to tell her "hey, we ran out of dryer sheets - can you grab some more" in passing without being afraid of a fight. And you need to tell her that. Not just that it's her turn, but that she needs to be open to room mate discussions.

As for the energy thing, say that everyone needs to be conscious of it. You when you jump into the shower and forget to shut off the TV and her when she's done using her hair straightener.

Hope that helps! And good luck/keep us posted. :)

[Pearl07STI]

I had a roommate like that once and we were pretty good friends, but after a few months of living together you def. get to see the real side of them. I remember he would always be in the garage working on his car (not a problem at all) but he would turn the AC on and leave the door to the garage open, he wouldn't clean up his dishes, would always eat our food and never pay us or resupply the food. Not to mention his car was where most of his money went to and sometimes couldn't even afford rent/utilities. So I had to talk to him about it and he said he would work on it, but a week later he said he was moving back home with his parents...

So I would try and talk with her and be some what reasonable with her, but without knowing her I don't know how to reacts in situations like that, all I can say is goodluck!

[bannerd]

You need to take care of your assets. Go out and buy a pirate chest... well it doesn't need to be that big (or maybe you do have a crap load of things:lol:). Put your tooth brush, towels, soap everything in there and just lock it up. That way your roommates aren't using it all and they can go buy their own.

You really need to learn to let things go and stop trying to have the final say. Being on this forum for awhile I've learned that about you.:p Seriously silence is your best friend, if she starts bitching just put your head phones on and do something else. Totally block her out, if she starts talking crap about you so what... what does that prove? I think it makes her look like a retard. She might have friends but what friend wants to sit there and listen to someone complain about this other girl all the time. She will eventually learn that it's not worth it. It doesn't matter whose family has more money, money never matters. It's a nice thing to have but don't ever let it equal to be as valuable as a person. You'll notice she'll start to change (mature) and hopefully she can present to you a more civil conversation. Until then it's not worth it to put up or join her childish actions.

So here is a list of things to get;

go to chainsaw store, get ear plugs(no not a chainsaw:D);
go to furniture store and get a chest;
go to Target and get a padlock;

Or just move into my house cause I don't live there much, always working... wait what!? :lol:

[im_so_blue]

yea thats what i say be more self reliant. Buy your own stuff.. and lock it away. So when everyone else runs out of crap they can't blame you cause you got your own stuff. And that will cue you out of the picture. Problem solved. and make sure its a cast iron safe or a big pirate chest like above person said so it can't be just carried away to another location. Get a heavy duty pad lock and never share the combo or key with anyone ever.

and when bitching ensues... turn on your ipod... or go for a walk. or whatever.

[Brumble]

hey, i'd definitely go with a roommate with temper issues over my last roommate, who enpregnated my sister's best friend, and another good friend of mine(within 3 months of eachother). On top of sleeping with a recent ex of mine, and a girl that i liked. and that was just the girls i knew about, there were several other girls that i was either close friends with or had at one time dated that he would frequently contact.

i considered him my best friend... he still has my paintball gear... god do i miss playing paintball

[bannerd]

haha, you hate him for that? When too people meet it's both their decisions to do each other. Unless he drugged them then yeah.. I can sympathize that would suck :(

[xxthat girlxx]

Get your damn paintball gear back! And yes - it takes two to tango... so that needs more details.

[bannerd]

Get your damn paintball gear back! And yes - it takes two to tango... so that needs more details.

Sometimes three or more :p

[Superwomanchick]

Bannerd, I really don't talk to her much. Out of the 4 months she's lived here I have asked her a grand total of 2 questions. The first was asking her to replace my food that she ate and when she gave attitude I told her to stop and turned up the tv. This more recent time I went to wash my face as she's shouting insults at me, I come back and she's complaining about me to my other roommate (the one that handles the rent) telling her I need to move out. Yeah i'm gonna say something then. I can drop things fast. But i'm not gonna roll over because she'll continue to act like she's alpha dog in the house.

[bannerd]

Bannerd, I really don't talk to her much. Out of the 4 months she's lived here I have asked her a grand total of 2 questions. The first was asking her to replace my food that she ate and when she gave attitude I told her to stop and turned up the tv. This more recent time I went to wash my face as she's shouting insults at me, I come back and she's complaining about me to my other roommate (the one that handles the rent) telling her I need to move out. Yeah i'm gonna say something then. I can drop things fast. But i'm not gonna roll over because she'll continue to act like she's alpha dog in the house.


Again get a lock box and put your food in there. If it's a cold product then get a small lock box lock it and put it in the fridge. My roommate always would drink my milk and after numerous attempts of telling him it's my shit he wouldn't listen. I dump a laxative in the milk and in literally 10 minutes he was shitting his brains out. You know what, he learned his lesson and didn't trust anything of mine. Don't turn the TV up on her that will just aggravate the situation even more and she might just turn it off/on. Get HEAD PHONES and if she tries to take them off you could definitely press charges on her. Life is hard but you really need to set an affinity for yourself.

Bottom line the land lord wants his money and as long as you're comfortable with paying the fee's then mind your business and go on your merry way. It is your right to know what the contract is as a tenant. If the entire house is against you then leave, you can do this anytime. Get a copy of the contract cause the land lord will have items on there. No loud music after this time, don't do this and that. Your home slice has a lot to learn about laws and rules.;) How would that look if that was going on at work... ? haha

[MoN]

I say, go get a studio apartment, You can only bitch at yourself for running outta food, soap, etc... aaaaand u can walk around naked if you'd like :p... lol.

It seems you guys both have very strong personalities and different views on things, and trying to get her kicked out when the other roomies like her is only gonna stir up problems. Its a tough situation. Have a roomie meeting and discuss everyone buying and stashing thier own food and supplies from now on and pay her no mind, just do you hunny thats all thats important.

[MikeGT]

I say, go get a studio apartment, You can only bitch at yourself for running outta food, soap, etc... aaaaand u can walk around naked if you'd like :p... lol.

It seems you guys both have very strong personalities and different views on things, and trying to get her kicked out when the other roomies like her is only gonna stir up problems. Its a tough situation. Have a roomie meeting and discuss everyone buying and stashing thier own food and supplies from now on and pay her no mind, just do you hunny thats all thats important.Amen!

[Brumble]

Get your damn paintball gear back! And yes - it takes two to tango... so that needs more details.

oh i never said that i forgave the girls. i only still talk to 1 of them, but mostly for entertainment purposes, she's one of those dumb dramatic girls who always fall for the pretty guys and then complain when they suddenly dump her and hook up with some other random club slut. it makes me giggle when she doesn't learn her lesson.

as far as the other girls, at least 2 of them are still dumb enough to believe that he still loves them... married one, banging the other... and according to what he tells the concubine... he hates his life

[MsLovely]

You know. I have to agree you need to sit down and have a roommate meeting. In college I lived in a suite with 6 other girls. There was this huge drama in the suite were 4 of the other girls really didn't like me including my own roommate. Eventually me and my roommate talked and become friends. So finally all seven of us sat down and had a conversation. Things weren't perfect after that, but they were not longer calling me by my nickname in front of me. Instead of talking about me behind my bad, they would say stuff like "Bird is such a pain in the ass." They apparently thought bird was an appropriate nickname for me. All I'm saying is talking things out won't make things perfect, but it may make life at home tolerable. I totally agree that "I" statements are the way to go in one of those situations. Right down a few that you want to make in the meeting to make sure they are addressed, but be prepared for them to have some of their own. Everyone doesn't like everything that they do. If you don't like things she does, chances are she has some issues with you as well.

[Superwomanchick]

When I get a chance i'm going to talk to my roommates. The one in question is in LA right now. I just already know that she'll never listen to me. I know how she is, she doesn't sit and wait to listen. She just screams insults. I wish I could afford a studio but I can't. Sometimes I just feel like around the house I do way more than my other roommates. If there are dishes in the sink i'll wash them all, etc. I'll try and talk to her but I just don't think it will go down well. I've never heard her have a calm conversation, even on the phone she yells at her mom and her bf.

[Brumble]

one quick way to fix that... uppercut to the taint. works on everyone and lets everyone who witnesses it know you mean business

[bannerd]

There is always the dumpster that will put shelter over your head. Much love, no lease food can be incredible and there is peace. Nut up or shut up.

happy 4th all

[Superwomanchick]

I was explaining myself. Some people are really hard to have calm conversations with bannerd. And I don't have nuts and this is my thread sooo I don't have to shut up either. Politeness works better with me.

[xxthat girlxx]

I think he meant ovary up... and that it will be very easy for you to be the bigger person. Don't stress. :)

[jessickascarling]

I think he meant ovary up... and that it will be very easy for you to be the bigger person. Don't stress. :)

+1!! :)

[bannerd]

I think he meant ovary up... and that it will be very easy for you to be the bigger person. Don't stress. :)

Right on. (: